If your tween daughter has a penchant for short-shorts and half-shirts, you may want to consider investing in some threads from a new website launched by the fashionistas of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints. Yep, the same FLDS sect recently raided by Texas authorities. Originally the site only featured pictures of clothing as many of the polygamous sect’s children remained in state custody, but now smiling FLDS kids mug for the camera in the dresses, overalls and other ankle-to-wrist gear. Nothing makes kids happier than multiple husbands, polyester and gargantuan bangs.

Beer cravings can make an otherwise sane person go a little bonkers. Take, for example, the case of a knife-wielding prisoner at a minimum security lock-up in Germany who demanded five bottles of beer after taking a woman hostage. Or the 74-year-old woman in LA that crashed through the window of a convenience store, stumbled out of the wreck and proceeded to try and buy a six-pack of brewskies. Looks like something’s in the hops.

The In-N-Out secret menu 100 x 100 only has 19,300 calories, but a total of 19,600 calories and 1,280 grams of fat will be chomped down on the Forth of July by the winner in the 2008 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest in New York, if he or she matches the current world record. Forget frankfurter calories, what about the indigestion?

An airplane ride crammed in the middle seat next to someone going au naturale could become slightly more pleasant, well, for your nose anyway. Researchers in Portugal have developed a way to inject fragrances into fabric that could potentially neutralize funky body odor. Although, sorry to say that the perfumed clothing will likely do nothing to prevent your stinky plane buddy from falling asleep on your tray table.
(Photo Credit: Amanda Rohde/iStockphoto)

In Germany, a six and a half foot long catfish attempted to eat a blue and white soccer ball and got choked in the bargain. I wonder if soccer mania had anything to do with this kind of behavior.
(Photo Credit: Cristian Matei /iStockphoto)

A Maltese puppy born without front legs has big plans to rock ‘n roll through life despite her disability. Well, she’ll probably roll more than rock as little Hope received a specially-designed device that uses the wheels from a model airplane to help her maneuver surprisingly fast.

A group of animals made a daring escape from a traveling Dutch circus that would make John Dillinger proud. Amsterdam police say 15 camels, two zebras, a handful of llamas and potbellied pig escaped after a giraffe kicked a hole in their cage, allowing the gang of furry friends to wander into a nearby neighborhood. A police spokesman said the animals stayed together during the several hours ordeal and remained tame. No word on how many locals may have rubbed their eyes raw in disbelief as the cluster of camels strutted by their window.

What do you get when you combine an optical illusion, speeding drivers and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration funding? No, not a dizzying headache and DUI accusation. Fake speed bumps! Highway safety administration officials have taken to the streets of Philadelphia armed with a flat piece of blue, white and orange plastic that when applied to street pavement looks like a 3-D pyramid from afar. Local police hope the faux speed bumps will discourage speeding, but similar experiments conducted two years ago in Phoenix showed drivers slow down only temporarily.

Per the “Personal Hygiene” section of the International Space Station’s medical reference manual, personnel are directed to change their underwear every seven days and their socks every three days. What’s not clear in the manual: is it ok to turn them inside out, then backwards, for a total of 28 days?

Put away those gold grills because a new dental trend has taken over: tooth tattoos. The Tooth Artist can tattoo nearly any image onto your pearly whites, making them more of a sooty gray, but isn’t a David Letterman or Abe Lincoln tooth ink worth it?

Residents in a Baltimore neighborhood have a stinky mystery on their hands after an unidentified man tossed a bag of feces onto the front porch of a home. The baffling incident disgusted neighbors and now police have the icky task of determining if the poop originated from a human or an animal. A surveillance camera captured a shot of the man, who authorities describe as balding and wearing a moustache.

A tiny black and white cat that lost her nose, eyelids and skin on her cheeks after nearly becoming roadkill as a kitten has found surprise success in the world of blogging. Chase’s owner Melissa Smith set up a blog for the faceless feline that documents the kooky kitty’s daily adventures from Chase’s perspective. Not content to just put her hairy paws to the keyboard, Chase also tours as a “therapy cat,” visiting schools and hospitals to help boost self-esteem for people suffering from disfigurements.

Apparently the folks over at the American Family Association’s OneNewsNow website find “homosexual” a more acceptable term than “gay,” auto-correcting the word in all Associated Press articles appearing on the site. Unfortunately their little handy dandy auto-replace tool can’t recognize proper names and consequently renamed sprinter Tyson Gay “Tyson Homosexual” in an article about Gay’s speedy 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic trials.

A British high schooler apparently didn’t feel like composing an entire essay, so the student simply wrote “F— Off” in response to the question “Describe the room you are sitting in.” While the expletive didn’t quite convey an accurate room description, the student managed to score two points out of a possible 27 for expressing meaning and correct spelling. The examiner said that had the cheeky pupil used a punctuation, the score may have increased. Lesson du jour: something earns more credit than nothing.
(Photo Credit: Dean Sanderson/iStockphoto)

If you can get over asking questions like “Did I just eat my napkin?” and “Whose hand is that?” then consider making a reservation at San Francisco’s Opaque. The new restaurant recently opened its doors to adventurous Bay Area foodies looking to dine in the dark. Customers enjoy a three-course meal in pitch black–like total, can’t-see-two-inches -in-front-of-your-face darkness–served by a visually impaired waitstaff who rely completely on touch. Dining in total darkness doesn’t come cheap though, so if you want to avoid the hefty bill, consider investing in a blindfold, Dr. Pepper and box of doughnuts.

A group called Presidential Memorial Commission has collected 8,500 signatures in support of a plan to rename San Francisco’s sewage treatment facilities after President George W. Bush. The group claims the renaming provides a “fitting monument to the President’s work.”

A 10-month-old girl, her mother and sister tumbled into the Thames River, swallowing mouthfuls of muddy water before a passing boatman rescued them from the frigid water. Attempts at resuscitation by a full pediatric clinical team failed and doctors believed the little girl had died. Then suddenly, two hours after she had been pronounced dead, the baby’s heart began faintly beating. Doctors believe the Thames’ cold water sent the child’s body into “suspension,” slowing her circulation and saving her life.

Don’t expect to see Serena Williams lining up at a polling place November 4 because even though the tennis star has expressed support for Democrat Barack Obama, she says her religion prevents her from voting. “I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, so I don’t get involved in politics. We stay neutral. We don’t vote,” she commented recently when asked about the election. “So I’m not going to necessarily go out and vote for him (Obama). I would if it wasn’t for my religion.”

As if text talk didn’t already doom an entire generation of grammaticly-challenged kids, Facebook’s use of made-up words like “themself” seemed to only add to the problem, but now the social networking site has decided to get serious about grammar. In the coming weeks, Facebook will ask users to specify their gender so as to eliminate default newsfeed updates that use “their” or “themself.” As Facebook expands to other languages, the lack of gender-neutral options has meant serious headaches for the online hangout. Gender benders fear not as the site will offer the choice of removing gender completely from their profiles.

The New York Aquarium’s most blush-inducing exhibit has died–Ayveq the masturbating walrus passed away at the age of 14. Ayveq gained superstar status at the Coney Island institution for his frequent public self-gratification. Aquarium Director Jon Forrest Dohlin fondly remembered Ayveq, describing the frisky marine mammal’s “raffish charm” and his ability to “entertain guests and himself.”

While not every Tom, Dick and Harry can become a Mark Penn or David Axelrod, the cable news networks seem to have come up with a solution–make-believe political strategists. It’s like playing house, only with more 527 groups and word spinning. With 24 hour news coverage and only so many “Breaking News” and “Campaign Alerts” to cover, stations like Fox News and MSNBC have relaxed standards for what constitutes a political strategist. While inflating of titles has been happening for years, this year’s hyper-election coverage has brought an onslaught of “strategists” and “experts.”

Lonely and living in your mom’s basement? Well perk up feller because now you have the chance to land a house in Florida complete with Berber carpet, upgraded tile and a MILF. Deven Traboscia of Palm Beach Gardens has put her 2,000 square-foot home and herself in a 2-for-1 deal on eBay and Craigslist. She’s started the bidding at only 99 cents, but the winning bidder will have to front $500,000 to cover shipping costs. Shockingly, she has not yet received any bids.

A group of 100 women gathered in Rome this week to stage a public mass-nursing in protest of social attitudes that stigmatize mothers who breast-feed in public. Breast-feeding women often have to deal with disapproving looks, ogling stares and, in England, can even face punishment under law of public decency. Let’s just remember that breasts’ primary function is nourishment, not a tool to score free drinks, so skip the squirming or staring.

Want some fries with that? That’s the first question asked to a newlywed couple who celebrated their nuptials with a $14 wedding feast from McDonald’s. Forgetting the traditional wedding food fare of baked chicken and stuffed mushrooms, Terry and Alice Speller took a chauffer-driven trip to their favorite fast-food restaurant. Maybe they’re on to something–skip the expensive wedding cake in favor of a giant McFlurry!

A South Florida woman claims that a 3D sonogram of her baby shows the image of Jesus. Amy Janer says the image shows a bearded face of Jesus leaning against the baby. Janer recently delivered a healthy 8-pound baby.