Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order against Steven Burkey, a man the actress claims has stalked and harassed her by showing up to the California home she shares with husband Ben Affleck and sending threatening letters that contain “delusional and paranoid thoughts.” The filed paperwork revealed that Burkey began following Garner in her “Alias” days, going so far as to finding her at an event to give her roses and a card that read “I love you forever.” Anyone else have creepy stalker-induce heebeejeebes?

Twilight fanatics thirsty for early reviews on the much-anticipated movie have taken to Twitter for little taste of the review niblets leaking out. Studio execs put a strict embargo on reviews until the vampire flick’s opening day on Friday, but antsy fans have used the microblogging service to gauge the reception for Twilight so far. Highlights from the Twitter buzz include “Twilight, seen. It wasn’t terrible… Wasn’t great, either. I hate movies that are painfully mediocre. They are worse than bad movies” and “TWILIGHT: cheap looking and often hilarious. DARK SHADOWS at DEGRASSI JR HIGH. With half the budget.” Another reviewer deemed the film “not bad,” while others couldn’t help but comment on the demographics of the audience drooling over blood-sucking Rob Pattinson: “If you want to hang out with a lot of teenage girls and sexually frustrated middle-aged women, get yourself to a “Twilight” screening!” Love it or hate it, the film promises big box office numbers.

People Magazine has named Aussie actor and singing-n-dancing machine Hugh Jackman the “Sexiest Man Alive.” The 40-year-old father of two, known for his roles in Hollywood flicks like X-Men and the upcoming Australia opposite Nicole Kidman, joked about his wife’s reaction to the honor: “God bless her, she said, ‘I could’ve told them that years ago!’ And then she said, ‘Obviously, Brad wasn’t available this year.’ And I said, ‘That was a joke, right?’” Pick up People Friday for all the man candy your eyes can handle.

Former “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Isis King has a fairy godmother in the form of Tyra Banks, as Banks surprised the transgendered woman with the gift of free sex reassignment surgery. Hmm, a gender reassignment surgery fairy godmother–it’s like the tooth fairy, only she floats in to whisk away body parts a smidgen further south from teeth. King appeared on Season 11 of ANTM, drawing attention and kudos from the LBGT community.

The world got its first glimpse of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice in Wonderland flick thanks to a picture floating around the internet showing Depp in full Hatter garb and make-up. On a side note, what’s the last movie Depp did without make-up? Fans chimed in on the get-up, describing the top hat/Bozo hair look as “deliciously creepy” and “Willy Wonka on crack.” Admittedly, Johnny Depp’s day-to-day wear doesn’t differ much from his costumed look, so the snapshot could just be a candid look at the actor’s going-to-the-grocery-store look.

Britney Spears’ latest album, aptly-titled Circus, doesn’t hit store shelves for another two weeks, but already the entire album has found its way onto the internet. Early reviews give Brit Brit a lukewarm reception of “meh,” but maybe the addition of a banging dance beat and an accompanying video of a scantily-clad, digitally-enhanced gyrating Spears will boost the album’s profile.

Screams echoed from girls around the world yesterday, horrified at the apparent news of Miley Cyrus’ death, but fear not Hannah Montana lovers because Miley is safe and sound, albeit the victim of some jokester hackers. The hackers crept into Cyrus’ best bud Mandy Jiroux’s YouTube account and posted a obit-style video and message reading: “Hey guys, this is Mandy and I have some very sad news :( We’re hurt to tell everyone this, but Miley died this morning after being hit by a drunk driver. Miley told us if anything ever happened to her then we should let her fans know first before the public. R.I.P honey, we miss you so much.” Jiroux took to MySpace to clear the air, reporting “Miley is ok,” so dry those tears tweeners (and creepy old men).

People.com features a post titled “Mariah Carey Strips Down for Christmas,” which begs the question, what holiday, event or trip to the grocery store does the singer not strip down for? The article goes on to quote the diva about her sexy celebration of Christ’s birth: “I always get Santa lingerie, even if nobody sees it, but this year it will be appreciated…[My girlfriends and I] go in the hot tub in our Christmas bikinis, then roll in the fresh snow and jump back in.” Good to know Mariah Carey says ‘Happy Birthday Baby Jesus’ with nipple tassels and a Santa hat!

Daily Show correspondent and “Get a Mac” campaign co-star John “PC” Hodgman popped up around San Francisco this week, swinging by Twitter headquarters and battling over, of all things, a Mac with Googler Brittany Bohnet. With Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart’s Election Night Twitter shout-out, could Hodgman be doing legwork for a little Daily Show sit down with Biz Stone and crew? Or maybe Hodgman just hoped to learn how to compose tweets that don’t start with “also.”

The National Enquirer has broken a juicy and scandalous tidbit about Cindy McCain, claiming the beer heiress and wife of the former Republican nominee for president is having an affair with a long-haired feller who resembles “a washed-up ’80s rock musician.” Or, judging by the grainy shots accompanying the story, a brunette John Tesh. Reconsider the eye rolling–remember the Enquirer’s reporting on the John Edwards’ fling? Anyway, the report goes on to say that witnesses have spotted Cindy and her mystery man at concerts and sporting events around Phoenix acting quite affectionate towards one another. Could the 18 year age difference between Cindy and John be the reason for the wealthy blonde’s wandering eye (and tongue, apparently)?
(Photo Credit: National Enquirer)

Joe Jonas has swiftly moved on to a new girlfriend as sources tattle that the middle Jonas Brother has started dating 10,000 BC actress Camilla Belle. The 22-year-old starlet starred in the JoBro’s video for “Lovebug,” but friends say the sparks didn’t fly between the duo until after the shoot wrapped.

Lindsay Lohan sat down for a little chat with Access Hollywood and managed to make a mumbling verbal slip-up that finally has folks gossiping about something other than the starlet’s recent dip into lesbianism. When asked about the presidential election, Lohan appeared to respond, “It’s an amazing feeling. It’s our first colored president.” The actress stumbled over “colored,” causing some fans to come to the Linds’ defense by claiming she instead said “good.” At least the gossip rags started talking about the Herbie: Fully Loaded star again–sure, she’s been tagged as ignorant, but that’s likely kinder than the words used to describe her career.

Apparently sleeping with John Mayer and making cameos on low-rated sitcoms can land you on the cover of Vogue because none other than Jennifer Aniston graces the cover of next month’s issue of the fashion mag and she opened up (sort of) about her feelings towards Angelina Jolie. The perfectly crisped (much like a rotisserie chicken) former “Friends” star called Angie’s alleged romantic advances on her then-hubbie Brad Pitt “really uncool,” adding, “There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening.” Cheer up Jen, at least you don’t have Matt LeBlanc’s career.

Tipsters inside Louis Vuitton claim Madonna will lend her Kabbalah-blessed mug to the luxury fashion brand’s Spring 2009 collection. Madge’s Louis campaign follows other A-listers’ pose-athons for the French leather goods brand like Scarlett Johansson, Uma Thurman and Jennifer Lopez.

Fans of Cookie Monster, Big Bird and the rest of the Sesame Street Muppet monsters will now have an easier time figuring out how to get, how to get to Sesame Street as the immensely popular children’s program has announced plans to hit the internet. Kids and adults alike can get their fill of Bert and Ernie, Oscar the Grouch and Telly Monster on iTunes, Hulu and YouTube. For $1.99 on iTunes, Muppet-lovers can download full episodes from season 35 and onward and, for more stingy Oscar-esque fans, YouTube will debut a Sesame Street channel featuring more than 100 clips from the show. No word if the Sesame Workshop crew has enlisted the help of New York videographer and part-time puppet maker Loren Feldman to create a few new characters based on the world of internet celebrities. Pete Cashmore, Julia Allison and Grover love triangle anyone?

Fox’s “Family Guy” spin-off “The Cleveland Show” has landed a big name from the left side of the blogging aisle as Arianna Huffington will join the Fox animated comedy as the voice of a bear family matriarch. Fox announced Huffington’s participation along with less exciting news that “Cleveland’s” debut date will happen next fall, rather than midseason spring, as had been previously planned. Hmm, if only Fox could talk Bill O’Reilly into stepping in as Papa Bear, that’d be a hoot and a half!

President-elect Barack Obama’s daughters have received an offer that would make most tween girls squeal with delight–the creators of “Hannah Montana” have extended an invitation to Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, to appear on the hit Disney show. In an interview with Access Hollywood, Billy Ray Cyrus, father of show star Miley, tried to keep mum on specific details, but revealed the episode could tape around April. The Obamas have discussed Malia’s love for all things Hannah Montana, but, for the most part, have shielded both girls from the media spotlight, so a behind-the-scenes tour of the set may be a happy compromise for the adorable Hannah-loving girls and their protective President papa.

“Cheetah Girls” star Adrienne Bailon has followed in the naked, scandalous photo footsteps of other Disney starlets like Vanessa Hudgens with her very own set of provocative pics allegedly stolen from her laptop. Bailon snapped the sepia-toned photos (nice artsy touch, by the way) for her boyfriend, Kardashian brother Rob, but before shipping ‘em off to her boytoy, she managed to lose her laptop at a New York City airport. A little reminder to everyone (not just Disney stars who play wholesome, spunky role models): if you take nekkid pictures of yourself, someone you don’t want to see the snapshots will find them and embarrass you, be that your mother, brother or celebrity gossip sites.

Madonna and Britney Spears may have disappointed a few pervs hoping for another spit swap between the two pop stars and despite no girl-on-girl action, most fans responded excitingly to the purely platonic reunion of Brit Brit and Madge on stage in Los Angeles. Spears, donning a white collared shirt and basic black trousers, joined Madonna for “Human Nature” before sneaking out the venue’s back door right after ex-boytoy Justin Timberlake finished his duet with the Material Girl.

Rihanna fans in Sydney, Australia got quite the scare Friday as the “Umbrella” singer passed out during her final song of the evening. Witnesses report RiRi began hunching over and made a dash offstage, where she fainted and received immediate attention from paramedics. Dehydration and the steamy concert venue reportedly triggered the medical scare, but expect to see RiRi back on the road this week.

Former Veep, Nobel Peace Prize winner and Tennessee’s sexiest greenie Al Gore will sit down with Digg founder Kevin Rose Friday to chit-chat about everything from global warming to Tipper’s fetish for worm composting. Digg members submitted oodles of questions for the environment lover, but you’ll have to tune in Friday at 10:00pm EST on Current TV to see what questions Rose chooses and how Gore decides to answer.

Celebrating the big 2-1 usually means ending the night vomiting in the bathroom of a classy joint like Taco Bell or a gas station, but eldest Jonas Brother Kevin celebrated in a slightly different way–the JoBro landed a new $250,000 Lamborghini for his big birthday. Kevin and younger brother Joe took his new set of wheels for a spin around Los Angeles before catching up with other JoBro Nick at a local studio.

President Bush’s usually calm black Scottish Terrier Barney had the opportunity to attack the media with a ferocity that would make most right wingers drool–the 8-year-old First Dog bit a Reuters reporter, drawing blood and sending the unfortunate fellow to the hospital. No word on what made Barney snap, but it could have something to do with the Obama girls clamoring to bring a Goldendoodle to D.C. and old Barney destined for Crawford, Texas. Video of the feisty Presidential pooch now on YouTube!

Hugh Hefner’s former gal pals have certainly moved on and up from sucking face with the 82-year-old Playboy founder as Holly Madison started hooking up with over-accessorized magic man Criss Angel and Kendra Wilkinson has reportedly accepted a proposal from Philadelphia Eagle Hank Baskett. Baskett popped the question to the “Girls Next Door” star atop Seattle’s Space Needle over the weekend, although Kendra’s publicist remains mum on the engagement. Hmm, now if only Bridget can find a nice gentleman.

Best-selling author and “ER” creator Michael Crichton has passed away unexpectedly after a private battle with cancer at the age of 66. The prolific novelist’s work included “Jurassic Park” and “State of Fear.” Crichton’s family release a statement, reading in part: “While the world knew him as a great story teller that challenged our preconceived notions about the world around us — and entertained us all while doing so — his wife Sherri, daughter Taylor, family and friends knew Michael Crichton as a devoted husband, loving father and generous friend who inspired each of us to strive to see the wonders of our world through new eyes.”