Just when you thought you couldn’t recycle anything else, it’s time to start bringing a baggy to the barber. Looks like human hair could be the next big thing in organic gardening thanks to the work of Vlatcho Zheljazkov of Mississippi State University, who pitted the naturally-nitrogen-laden locks against commercial fertilizers and found that slower growing plants benefited more from a diet of discarded tresses than its chemical counterparts. Although more work has yet to be done to determine if hair is a viable alternative on a widespread basis, you can bet more than one family of gardening gurus are going to be revisiting the bowl cut this year.

Only 41 days until some of the most brilliant and innovative minds come together to spread ideas and spark endless conversation at the annual TED Conference and now we know who will take the stage. TED 2009 speakers include Bill Gates, Seth Godin and Herbie Hancock. Wannabe attendees would have better luck scoring Super Bowl tickets on Venus, but if you want to lurk around in hopes of spotting, take note that the TED crew has moved to Long Beach. Check out the full list of program speakers and prepare to get your mind cranking.

Oxford researchers are asking, “Why pop a pill when you can flip a chip?” and the answer could mark the end of those disturbing television commercials for male enhancement drugs. Although currently in the early stages of development, scientists are optimistic that a chip inserted to stimulate the brain’s pleasure centers could turn millions of “Not now, honeys” into “Where are the honeys?” Stimulation of the orbitofrontal cortex creates pleasure from both sex and eating, so perhaps the safer and healthier alternative would be creating an orgasm-inducing carrot. Can you pass the salad, baby? Ah, the cafeteria lady never looked so good.

Swedish spruce trees might be getting an extra “boost” this holiday season in the form of a common erectile dysfunction aid. Swedish University researchers have found that the amino acid, arginine — known for its ability to improve circulation to the jiggly-bits and up sperm production — also allows the roots of spruce trees to more effectively draw nitrogen from the soil, lessening the need for nitrogen-enriched fertilizers. Now, there’s a happy forest!

Can you think of anything sexier than projectile boogers and saliva surging towards your face? Well, if sneezing doesn’t exactly make you want to hop in the sack, then you probably do not suffer from a rare phenomenon where people sneeze excessively when thinking about sex. Two British doctors examined the quirky occurrence and discovered 17 others, of both sexes, dealing with the arousal ha choos. Dr. Mahmood Bhutta of Oxford’s John Radcliffe Hospital speculates that the problem could come from crossed signals somewhere in the sneezers’ horny brains.

Vietnam’s Mekong Delta has proven a treasure trove of undiscovered and rare species, according to a newly released World Wildlife Fund report. Between 1997 and 2007, scientists discovered 1,068 species including a cyanide-producing fuchsia-colored millipede, a rat thought to have gone extinct 11 million years ago and a fuzzy spider with a foot-long legspan. Climate change, development, war and natural disasters all threaten thousands of species on the verge of extinction, but the WWF’s report could help educate people in regions where the rare species live.

Naughty kids who tease their little siblings or sneak laxatives into the family gingerbread men could wake up Christmas morning to the nose-pinching smell of seaweed in their stockings. Tennessee professor Gerald Smith gave Santa Claus a ring-a-ling up at the North Pole to ask that he swap out coal for seaweed because the slimy algae is organic, natural and decomposes without harmful residue. Smith also added that “seaweed is available on a world-wide basis, so Santa can replenish his supply locally using fair-trade elf labor.” Merry Green Christmas!

Santa’s sleigh could haul a heavy load in a couple years if NASA goes through with a plan to give away authentic spacecrafts after the space agency’s shuttle program closes shop in 2010. NASA will donate two space shuttle orbiters and at least six unassembled space shuttle main engine display ‘kits,’ but only to “educational institutions, science museums and other appropriate organizations.” So, stop trying to convince your wife to that the guest room would make for a perfect space museum complete with glow-in-the dark wall stars and solar system mobiles. No word if Mr. Claus and NASA have teamed up to toss in a couple elves dressed in spacesuits with the shuttles.

Little Sam Esquibel will have quite the story to share at parties when he grows up after doctors discovered a foot growing inside the infant’s brain. Surgeons initially thought the growth seen on an ultrasound was a brain tumor, but when Dr. Paul Grabb began Sam’s life-saving surgery, he found a developing foot, hand and thigh growing within the baby’s brain. Doctors have not yet determined the reason for the peculiar growth, but say it could be a case of teratoma, a congenital brain tumor composed of foreign tissue, or fetus in fetu, when a fetal twin begins to form within the other. The blue-eyed, chubby-cheeked miracle baby has remained in the hospital since the October 3 surgery and continues to undergo rehabilitation.

It’s hard to imagine that the woman who seduced two of Rome’s most famous emperors could have been anything but a hottie, but painstaking research and computer technology have produced what Egyptologists believe to be the most accurate portrayal of Cleopatra to date. The result appears to be the product of both Egyptian and Greek lineage, with large eyes and full lips, a far cry from some of the less flattering renderings, which showed the legendary minx with thin lips, hooked nose and bad teeth; not exactly the vision one would desire to roll out of a carpet, as she did to Julius Caesar before seducing him that night. For the sake of accuracy, maybe Elizabeth Taylor needs a little Technicolor makeover in the 1961 film; if they can do it to It’s a Wonderful Life, anything goes.

Ever wake up blushing from a particularly vivid dream and then been thankful that no one will ever know what that smirk you’re sporting all day is really about? Think again. Although the initial images they’ve been able to decode are very simple, Japanese researchers are hoping that their dream displays will one day be used to decipher more complex sequences and peer into a dreamer’s deeper subconscious via a computer screen. Great. I can tell you right now that many of my future dreams will include creepy Japanese scientists spying on my innermost thoughts, no mystery there.

If monkeys could model for plastic surgery ads, the Tonkin snub-nosed could finance its own species recovery. A group of at least 15 adults and 3 infants has been discovered in a Vietnam province, thrilling conservationists who numbered the remaining population around 200 individuals. With their pouty lips and round eyes, it’s hard to imagine someone killing the little guys for food — which has nearly driven them to extinction — but the newly-discovered group offers hope that teenage girls everywhere will rally to the cause of such a cutie.

…but the world’s rocket scientists of the future will still likely come from Asia. Since 1995, the math and science scores of American 4th and 8th graders have been above average in the developed world, while Asian countries like Singapore and Hong Kong have made far more impressive strides. The results counter the prevailing sentiment in the US that students are lagging behind in these important subjects, but the fact that achievement has stagnated since the mid-1990s is still worrying to education policymakers. The great news is that girls are closing the gender gap in both subjects around the world and are doing so in the States by the 8th grade. So dump the Wii this Christmas and grab a Chemistry set for the kid, accompanied, of course, with a dire warning against blowing up the house, school, or local mass transit system.

Not every reindeer makes Santa’s starting lineup. Usually only Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph make the cut. Dr. Perry Barboza, physiologist at the Institute of Arctic Biology, University of Alaska at Fairbank, provides some interesting facts that you can use to impress any shopping-center Santa: male reindeer shed their antlers in early December; female keep theirs, so maybe Santa’s team are all female!; at the start of winter, females have 50% body fat; males enter winter with 5% body fat because the mating season takes so much out of them (in several ways); and reindeer coats have hollow hair which helps maintain body heat. Merry Christmas!

Admit it, we’ve all been stumped as to the gender of someone at one time or another, be it a coworker a la SNL’s Pat or the kid on the playground who has yet to sprout any gender-specific characteristics, but one clue to these socially-awkward mysteries may lie in the skin’s undertones. The idea for the study, which appears in the journal Psychological Science, was born over some cold ones in a bar when the researchers were pondering the role color plays in recognizing objects. One researcher thought stubble may make men’s faces appear greenish, though the opposite turned out to be the case; women’s faces appear more green (yep, hiding the stubble isn’t working, ladies) while men’s faces looked more red. For women seeking a particularly festive look this holiday season, load up on the blusher and lipstick and highlight your green, because that sounds really appealing.

Sticklers for historical accuracy might want to save the Christmas tree until June this year, as Australian astronomers have found that the fabled star that led the wise men to that chilly stable was most likely a conjunction of Venus and Jupiter that occurred on June 17, 2BC. Those history party-poopers, though, were likely already assuming the Church had scheduled Christmas to coincide with pagan winter solstice festivities and will continue to reap their yearly present haul while frustrating their more literal relatives. Swaddling clothes are so much more appealing to think about than a baby Jesus afflicted with prickly heat, anyway.

As if this year doesn’t feel long enough as it is, an extra second will be ticked off before what we hope will be a better 2009 is ushered in by old Father Time. The International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service has deemed it necessary to add the second so the timescale based on a gradually-slowing rotation of the Earth will remain in sync with atomic time, upon which devices like GPS depend. If there’s an awkward pause before the ball drops in Times Square this year, now you know why: “5…4…3…2…1…and…now!”

We all know that little guy who is a wee bit sensitive about his size and, hence, his masculinity, but give your vertically-challenged buddy a lift today by passing on the news that, if he were a spider he’d be a stud. An article from the current issue of the Journal of Evolutionary Biology describes how little male redback spiders may lose out in a head-to-head battle with the big ones for some lovin’, their faster maturation process and fleetness of many bitty feet make them ten times more successful in the daddy department. Of course, the male of the species takes an often fatal beating while mating, but you don’t have to mention that part. Three cheers for the peewee weewee!

Some would like this joyous holiday season to last forever,and some would like to alter their consciousness from Turkey Day to New Year’s, but I digress. Picking up an artificial tree can make that dream come true from the perspective of a landfill; that pre-lit Douglas fir is a nightmare for the environment. According to Dr. Clint Springer, botanist and greenie, Christmas tree farms have very little impact on the water supply even with the use of pesticides, while artificial trees come with a Bigfoot-sized carbon print. If you can still hear the trees screaming from being cut down, buy an organic with roots and introduce it to a new home when you’re done.

You know that insurance commercial where the strangers pass warm fuzzies to each other via their good deeds? Well, they may not be that far off the mark, but you needn’t give away a free stuffed animal, just smile like it’s going out of style! A new study shows that happy vibes spread like a nasty virus up to three degrees from the original happy person, a far more widespread effect than that of the blues. So get out there and Facebook some perkiness, people!

If you’ve been depending on the inspiration of a flickering, buzzing bare lightbulb for your angst-ridden lifestyle, it’s time to either get an a Zoloft prescription or move into an apartment with a flashing neon sign outside; the incandescent bulb will soon be a thing of the past. As part of the Clean Energy Act of 2007, the bulbs will begin to be phased out in 2012 and be a thing of the past two years later. At this point, though, almost eighty percent of Americans are in the dark regarding the change. Since one-fifth of the energy supply is used on lighting, the switch could have a major impact of energy usage in America. Anyone know if they’re making compact florescent Christmas lights yet?

Google co-founder and University of Michigan alumnus Larry Page dialed up his alma mater with a suggestion, combine the blue and yellow school colors and go green. No no, Larry didn’t suggest switching the school’s famous colors, especially to that of rival Michigan State, he pushed the university to consider shifting to more Earth-friendly, green computing. Page spoke to UM about the Google-Intel project launched last year that aims to slash current computer energy consumption by 50 percent no later than 2010. The Climate Savers Computing Initiative could cut CO2 emissions by 54 million tons a year and could save the Big 10 school $94,000 per year just in heating and cooling costs. Remember, if a Google billionaire calls, answer the phone and take notes.

A case of collective befuddlement settled on Southern California Sunday afternoon and it had nothing to do with the Chargers’ miserable loss. A huge BOOM shook the serene afternoon, sending folks scrambling for information and rather than flip on the news, tech-savvy Angelenos looked to Twitter for answers. Tweets about the mysterious noise popped up almost immediately — “I just heard some sort of explosion. Anybody else in 90048 hear that?” Apparently the confused Californians don’t belong to the NASA fan club (membership includes a free Barbie spacesuit!) because the big boom turned out to just be the Endeavour space shuttle arriving back to Earth at Edwards Air Force Base.

Although cynics might say Arkansas has plenty of faults, those aren’t the faults causing concern among seismologists noticing unusual activity in the middle of “The Razorback State.” Small quakes are typical along the New Madrid Seismic Zone in the northeast, but the central region lacks a history of seismic activity, causing scientists to scramble to set up portable measurement devices in the area. If the quakes are hydrothermal ones, they say there is little to worry about, but unknown faults could cause some serious and unexpected damage. In the last 5,000 years, eastern Arkansas has been hit with a 7+ magnitude quake, a recent event in geological terms, so forget that beachfront property in Arizona; why not snatch up those killer deals in Mississippi?

The November 25 consultation with the UN might have looked like something out of Armageddon without the fabulous Aerosmith soundtrack, but the members of the international Panel on Asteroid Threat Mitigation weren’t posing for any cameras. Experts are pushing for the UN to compile a plan of attack on NEOs (Near Earth Objects) as well as international evacuation responses to possible crises. As the report stated, “For the first time in our planet’s 4.5-billion-year history, the technical capacities exist to prevent such cosmic collisions with Earth. The keys to a successful outcome in all cases are preparation, planning, and timely decision-making,” and the UN is the only organization with the international presence to tackle the job. Before this idea is floated to the American public, it might be a good idea to add a soundtrack after all.