The New York Aquarium’s most blush-inducing exhibit has died–Ayveq the masturbating walrus passed away at the age of 14. Ayveq gained superstar status at the Coney Island institution for his frequent public self-gratification. Aquarium Director Jon Forrest Dohlin fondly remembered Ayveq, describing the frisky marine mammal’s “raffish charm” and his ability to “entertain guests and himself.”
Fair warning: your eyes may never forgive you. It seems as though everyone clinging to fame on the Z-list conveniently has a sex tape up their sleeve (or down their pants) when the limelight begins slipping away. Verne Troyer is apparently no different. Troyer, best known for his role as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers flicks, stars in a skin flick filmed with his former live-in girlfriend. The same porn broker who sold Paris Hilton’s night vision and baby talk tape somehow got his hands on Troyer’s home video of the naked variety and is reportedly entertaining a $100,000 offer for the footage from SugarDVD.
Lonely men around Japan will have a new companion to exchange butterfly kisses with, as Sega Toys unveiled a female humanoid robot designed to be a lovable partner to single fellows. The busty and petite Eternal Maiden Actualisation or “EMA” uses infrared sensors to enter its “love mode” and kiss nearby human heads. Sega didn’t say if EMA can differentiate between humans because, if not, she may end up smooching your tool of a best friend and consequently being just like your ex-girlfriend who left you broken hearted and dropping $175 for a robot woman.
Is it possible to “blog too much” about your boyfriend? A college sex-blogger is now having second thoughts after her words sparked a scandal. Harvard junior Lena Chen spent the past few months twittering and blogging about a new love interest simply referred to as “Patrick,” but when the 20-year-old posted pics of her boytoy, it was revealed that “Patrick” was actually Patrick Hamm, a Harvard sociology professor. Chen’s tweets included talking about underage drinking with Patrick and blogs referencing sexcapades with Hamm.
The Greek town of Tyrnavos has an annual celebration that would make even the raunchiest of bachelorette party goers blush–the Phallus Festival is a pagan fertility fest that honors all things penis-shaped. Phalluses abound with as residents break out in lewd songs and encourage passerby to smooch their model genitalia. The festival gets the ball rolling (no pun intended…ok, maybe a tiny pun intended) on the first Monday of Lent and honors Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, madness and ecstasy.
You can you read it here first: the “Bikini Effect” happens when men receive sexy stimuli and causes them to seek immediate gratification. How was this determined? In an experiment, men fondled tshirts and bras (both not being worn). When they fondled bras, they valued the present more than the future. I’m not making this up.
According to a Rand Corporation survey, teenage pledges of virginity may work. 42 percent of the teenagers who did not make a pledge had sexual intercourse. 34 percent of the teenagers who made the pledge had sexual intercourse. However, the researchers stressed that virginity pledges are only one component of effective sex education programs.
Robert Furlong, the Fire Chief of Lower Swatara Township heard a rustling outside of his house and discovered flight attendant Adrianna Grace Connor in his vehicle. Connor said that she and pilot Jeffery Paul Bradford wandered into the woods for some drunken sex. Connor found her way out, Bradford was found by a search posse — it’s unclear whether the two of them found each other to complete the deed.
Sigurdur Hjartarson received his first penis in 1974. He started actually collecting them 24 years ago. Now his hobby has turned profitable. Over 6,000 visitors — 60% of them women — toured his Icelandic Phallological Museum last summer. The museum features 261 penises from 90 species, from 1.7 meters long down to an embarrassing 2mm.
William Shatner has admitted in his new autobiography that he could not stand sleeping with obsessed Star Trek fans because they would want to act out their weird sci-fi fantasies in bed. Yeah, we all figured them for “beam me up”, but did any of the ladies scream “Tiberius!”? Shatner also claims that co-star Leonard Nimoy had no sense of humor on the set of the original series.
If jiggly Jell-O has ever made you giggle, a sweet squishy treat from Japan could not only make you chuckle, but also blush. Japanese grocers have stocked up on gelatin desserts in the shape of breasts that sell for around 400 yen or about $4 or $2 per boob. Curiously, the cartoon women featured on the edible mammaries are all blonde and sort of European-looking, but tasty either way. Enjoy with milk!
Isabella Rossellini has enjoyed an impressive and acclaimed career as an actress, so her latest project could cause a bit of noggin scratching or at least some giggles. The “Blue Velvet” star dons insect costumes for “Green Porno,” a series of two-minute flicks commissioned by the Sundance Channel that explore the reproduction habits of bugs. Bam chicka wa waaaa!
A Japanese civil servant has learned that poking around porn websites while at work will not earn you anything more than a red-face, a reputation as a creepy perv and demotion. A Kinokawa city government employee allegedly logged over 780,000 hits on racy sites over a nine month period on his office computer. The porn fan’s supervisors not only demoted him, but also punished him with a 20,000 yen ($190) monthly pay cut. Luckily, the internet has plenty of free skin flicks and racy pics.
(Photo Credit: Yunus Arakon/iStockphoto)
A hot Hollywood sex scandal has broken and the woman at the center of the torrid affair is none other than buttoned-up journalist Barbara Walters. Babs sat down for a kiss-and-tell interview with Oprah in which she admitted to carrying on a multi-year affair in the 1970s with then-married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke of Massachusetts. The 78-year-old View host called Brooke “exciting” and “brilliant,” but acknowledged friends warned her of the possible repercussions if the affair became public knowledge. Who knew Babs was such a frisky vixen? Expect Elisabeth Hasselbeck to bring out the holier-than-thou morality police on this one.
Women in a working class suburb of Santiago, Chile have their eyes open for rabid old men frolicking around with erections after the town’s mayor launched a program that supplies free Viagra to senior citizens. Lo Prado Mayor Gonzalo Navarrete justified his peppy penis project by saying, “an active sexuality improves the overall quality of life.” Interested men must be at least 60-years-old, register with the local health service and have a doctor certify their erectile dysfunction.
The Greek Gay and Lesbian Union could face a name change, if the residents of the Greek island of Lesbos have their way. Citizens of the island filed a legal complaint this week demanding the group removes the word “lesbian” from its name because, the suit contends, Lesbos inhabitants suffer “psychological and moral rape” from the “seizure” of their island’s name by homosexuals. A spokesman for the group called the issue “totally ridiculous.” In related news, the residents of Dildo, Newfoundland have considered legal action against the sex toy industry.
A constitutional assembly in socially conservative Ecuador has an interesting new amendment to consider–assembly member Maria Soledad Vela proposed legislation that would make enjoyable sex a right for women. Vela argues that by guaranteeing a woman’s right to frisky fun, it also ensures that women can make free and informed decisions about their sexual activities. An opposition leader (a man, of course) has rejected the law saying it “isn’t possible” to dictate orgasms by law.
Brazilian soccer star Ronaldo, who for those who don’t know the first thing about soccer is to Michael Jordan as David Beckham-Spice is to Vlade Divac, had a run in with transvestites in Brazil. Ronaldo, who is recovering from knee surgery, was seeking a little professional female company, when he accidentally got himself a prickle of transvestites. Good to know he kicks with both feet!
Listen up men, if you’re tired of hiding your less-than-bubbly bottom, the folks at Bottoms Up have an easy and affordable solution. The Butt Padded Boxer Briefs come in three colors and offers different levels of enhancement pads for both the front and back. The Canadian undergarments will surely draw the attention of ladies interested in a man with a JLo booty. Think of it as the manly equivalent of the Wonder Bra.
The world’s first cloned dog, Snuppy, is set to be a father after researchers artificially inseminated two cloned Afghan hounds with his sperm. Snuppy, also an Afghan hound, was cloned in 2005 by a team led by disgraced stem cell researcher Hwang Woo-Suk. Snuppy looks forward to a future round of clone on clone mating, where he might actually get to impregnate the bitches himself.
Grin away men; Australian researchers have discovered that men who regularly masturbate cut their chances of developing prostate cancer. Personal pleasuring sessions allow men to rid their prostates of cancer-causing chemicals that can accumulate if not ejaculated. Before all you frisky fellows skip off for some random rolls in the sack, beware that sexual intercourse does not reap the same benefits because of an increased risk of contracting an STD.
(Photo Credit: Andres Peiro Palmer/iStockphoto)
Penis theft is a crime you’d expect to hear about after a booze-filled evening or at the Hustler store on Sunset, but in Congo, genital stealing has an entirely different, and more heebeejeebes-inducing, meaning. Police in the African nation have arrested 13 alleged sorcerers, who reportedly stole or shrunk men’s penises in an attempt to extort cash. Hmm, do I predict Danny Bonaduce claiming he took a recent trip to Congo?
(Photo Credit: Webking/iStockphoto)
A father-of-five and his wife decided they didn’t want any more rug-rats, so the couple came up with a brilliant idea–supergluing a condom to the man’s penis. Genius! The 43-year-old Romanian said he found regular sized condom a bit too “roomy” and rather than drop more moola on XS rubbers, Nicolae Popovici decided to break out the superglue. Popovici figured that by supergluing the oversized condoms, he could not only make them fit, but also re-use the contraceptive. Needless to say, the plan got a bit sticky when Nicolae couldn’t remove the condom and had to sheepishly wander into the local clinic for help.
A group of wannabe cougars in Spain stripped down and posed for an amusing erotic calendar as a fundraiser for their children’s school, but shockingly, residents of the small town have little interest in pouting, nekkid middle-aged women. Despite early success and seductive shots that include props like tinsel, shotguns and fox pelts, calendar sales trailed off, leaving the mothers with a $16,000 printer bill. Forget peddling the hot pics on the streets of rural Serradilla del Arroyo, the naked mamas need an eBay account and FedEx hook-up stat.
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